thank you, disillusionment

OH, how could I forget what happened a few nights ago???

So, I'm in bed Monday night trying to get to sleep. And Baer makes a weird sound that only means, "HEY, ROONEY & SADIE, GET IN HERE BECAUSE THERE IS THE COOLEST THING AND YOU HAVE TO SEE IT," which results in Sadie jumping up immediately from a dead sleep and running to the living room. Which means I better go check it out or it could be a poisonous bug or snake or something.

I get up, without my glasses, and find Sadie and Bear GLUED to the window that looks onto the patio/porch (call it what you want - it's on the third floor and it's covered). They are staring at what appears to be a leaf caught at the porch railing. It's the same size and shape of a leaf from my money tree (HA!) and I think that maybe the wind is moving it around - but there's no wind. So I am confused.

I sit down and try to pet Sadie, but she's having none of it and goes to the door to look at what I still believe is a leaf. So I get my glasses. Still looks like a leaf. I decide to turn on the light and settle the whole thing and it was a

RAT.

AN HONEST-TO-GOD 6-INCH BROWN RAT JUST SITTING THERE CHILLING ON MY PORCH ON THE THIRD FLOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

A RAT THAT DOES NOT MOVE WHEN I BANG ON THE WINDOW. A RAT THAT BARELY ACKNOWLEDGES ME WHEN I BEAT ON THE SASH. I had to practically bust the window to scare the thing away.

I know he was looking for food, and I know he was looking through the discarded birdseed, of which there wasn't much at all, but I'm on the THIRD FLOOR for goodness' sake.

I have to admit here that I did have some inking that something was amiss. I cleaned my porch really well right before my parents came up last Thursday, including cleaning up all of the birdseed under the feeder that is now packed up. Saturday morning, the rug that I have to prevent seed from skittering everywhere when it falls was slightly askew, like the wind had knocked a corner up. So I straightened it. Sunday morning, a corner of the rug was hanging off of the ledge. So I straightened it. All this time, I hadn't seen any birds - in fact, I'd not seen any birds at the feeder for more than a week.

And then the RAT showed up. And the next day, I emptied the feeder, packed it away, threw away the rug and plastic liners that I had been using to contain the mess to one area, and swept and scrubbed the porch. And I reported the rat to my leasing office.

I had to leave messages, but the next morning I called and spoke to someone:
me: Hi, I'm SD from apartment (third floor) and I left messages about finding a rat on my porch.
guy: [pause] Was it dead?
me: No, as a matter of fact, it was very much alive.
guy: I'm going to have to put you on hold for a minute.
[hold]
guy: What apartment did you say you were in?
me: (third floor).
guy: And you say it was a rat?
me: It was a RAT.
guy: You're sure it was a rat?
me: I'm fairly good at recognizing different animals and I can say with utmost certainty that it was a RAT.
guy: ...hold on a minute.
[hold]
guy: Ma'am? We're going to have pest control come by your apartment on Friday.
me: I hope you're also going to take a look at the courtyard underneath, because where there is one rat, there are many.
guy: Yes, Ma'am.

Idiot.