place them in a box until a quieter time

So. I'm trying to get back on my non-diet. You know, the one that's not really a diet, but a "life change." It's so hard, though because I have an emotional attachment to food. Stressed? Bury it in cheese. Happiness? Reward it with ice cream. Sad? Smother it in carbs.

While I'm overweight, I don't have any major health problems that a lot of overweight people have - and that gives me a perfect excuse to remain lazy and eat whatever I want. And it means that I have to dig deep and find my own motivation to do something about it.

I've never been happy with my body. I can't remember a time that I liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror - in fact, I have no idea what that would even feel like. I bet it's amazing. I want that feeling. And I want to stop using a poor body image as an excuse not to do things that I would like to do.

But then I also feel like I should be able to accept myself the way I am. Screw those guys who aren't interested because I'm not thin enough - I wouldn't want to date them, anyway. While that's true, I think that my outside should match how great I am on the inside. Plus, we all judge books (and people) by their covers and, to that extent, I am being judged by my appearance.

It's just hard to stay motivated - I can get the first few weeks and then I self-sabotage.

So I'm going to try harder. Starting today.